the reason why.

I find my words failing me today. I have thought for some time how I was going to start this little update and I can never seem to find the right words or the right train of thought to follow. So, I will simply write what comes out and allow that to be enough.

When I think back on the past few weeks I can’t help but smile. What a life. I spend one day helping kids with their horse therapy time and then the next day I’m mixing cement to help finish a roof. My clothes are now covered by dried concrete, my face is burnt, my arms are cut and bruised, but the only thing that gets me going are the faces.

The other day all the girls went to help give a charla aka a woman’s talk. I was fortunate enough to help out by holding up posters so Rebecca could point and demonstrate what she was talking about. Now granted, it’s sometimes funny because a part of me never left my five year old days, but there was another part that was absolutely haunted.

I saw every woman’s face. Every expression. Every smile and every hint of pain. I stood there holding up a poster of some human biology yet I was witnessing something far greater. It seems to happen from time to time, I will be working on some project and then I will just look at the people around me, and be changed. It so easy, too easy to get lost in the job of the day. Mix cement, lift buckets, lay bricks, count beans, milk cows, I get so wrapped in those job that the true purpose of performing all those actions gets pushed away.

It has been and always will be about the people. Why do I mix cement? To build a house for a family. Why do I count beans? To help feed a family. Why do I milk a cow? To help provide milk for children. The action without this purpose is absolutely meaningless.

So I will gladly hold a poster, but the purpose behind is worthy of my ability. I will gladly chase goats around, or wash pigs or even scoop up some poop because the purpose behind it all is worth more than me.

wsl,

Mallory K. Kornegay

Beans and Bricks

As always life here is an adventure. Just when I think I’m starting to understand the flow of life here, something new and surprising arrives and I once again find myself confused. It’s easy to get lost in the desperation that is so evident in this place. However, I have come to rely on two things here. Reguardless of whatever goes on I will always have beans and bricks.

You see I have been put with agriculture and groups for the past week which I absolutely love. I may not speak spanish, I may not play football that well, but I can lift bricks and I can count beans. It may seem silly, it may even seem a waste, but with every part of my heart I love it, and not because of any of the reasons you may think.

I love doing all that work because when I look at a bag of beans or a stack of bricks I don’t just see that. I see hope. I see people no longer hungry and children growing. I see houses built and families safe and warm. I see a better future than this world has allowed. I see more than just beans and bricks, I find my hope in those beans and bricks because God works through them.

So that has been my past week and if that were to be how the rest of my time here was spent, that would be enough for me.

wsl,

Mallory K. Kornegay

So I learned to paint toenails, no big deal

So I haven’t blogged in two weeks… my bad. So to give everyone a heads-up on what my life has been like I will try to condense it.

I have: left home, arrived at Mission Lazarus, driven to surrounding cities to meet and greet people, milked a cow, scooped some poop, cleaned some pigs, fed a horse, gathered some chicken eggs, sorted 7,000 peppers, filled bags with 100lbs. of beans, downloaded books, filled bags full of coffee, watched it rain for 4 days straight, went horse back riding, floated down a river, got leeches stuck on me, and have been viciously attacked by mosquitoes. Life is good.

But more importantly, I have seen the face of God. Every time I turn it seems like I am captured by another side of God. Whether it’s by watching the clouds dance upon the mountains or by making a child laugh at my lack of Spanish skills. Our God is alive and he is good.

One of the fist days we were here we went to a charla (a women talk). I stood there in the back and listened as best I could to Rebecca inform and challenge these women. So I might have been getting a little crunk… no big deal. Anyways, after the talk we the interns were instructed to paint the women’s nails. Now I realize no one here knows me, but let me say this, I don’t even paint my own nails much less someone elses. I was a little intimidated. Well I finally got the guts to grab some polish and proceed to paint these lovely ladies nails. Then I get to this one woman. She looks at her fingers nails, says “no” and points to her feet. I thought to myself, “oh Lord, I’m going to pain this woman’s toenails”. I sit down and with shaking hands began to paint her toe nails. In that moment I realized something, if my savior can wash someone’s feet, surely I can paint them. In that moment of clarity it all became clear, in that moment of clarity life made sense, in that moment of clarity I found God. If I had to go home after that day, it would have been a summer worth living for.

Well I believe that is all for today. Sorry for being lengthy, but I figured I needed to make up for my lack of writing last week.

wsl

Mallory K. Kornegay

the final farewell.

There is never a right time for good-byes. The tearing of relationships broken by the new distance found between them is at times too much to carry, yet that has been my burden for some time now. I have been caught between two worlds, my present and my future, and to be rather honest I have hated every minute of it. At times I wish I could just be there in my new life living this grand adventure I have set out for myself, and than there are others time where all I want to do is stay sipping my coffee and listening to old friends tell even older stories.

I am heartbroken. I have tried to look back on this past year and count all the moments that I wasted doing something pointless when I should have been spending more time with the people I love. Atlas, my time has come. Graduation was the final component for my catalyst and I am now days away from leaving my home, my friends, my family.

I have no doubt that once I get on the plane I will be overjoyed, but I'm not there yet. I'm here, at home, with all my memories surrounding me. I wish I could be braver. I wish I could be stronger. I wish I wasn't so full of fear. But I am.

I have been so overflowed with doubt that I try to avoid certain duties... like buying bug spray and getting my shots... and even packing (my bad). I find myself fading in and out of memories from winning waterball, to passing my belt test, to making costumes, to winning Sing Song, to becoming a rodeo queen and finally becoming a college graduate. These moments I will treasure for they are all I have left of a time that is now over for me.

While my departure brings forth sadness and doubts I hadn't not truly expect, I place my confidence on Christ. I may not know what this summer has in store for me, but I know my God goes before me. Wherever He leads, I must follow.

So farewell my home. I will miss you. Farewell my family... I might call you. Farewell my friends, I will remember you.

wsl,

mal.

Let's start at the very begining.

I have recently had the absolute fortune of being accepted as a summer intern for a program called Mission Lazarus. It's located in Honduras and has everything from a medical clinic to a coffee plantation in hopes of helping the people of Honduras out.

Am I scared? absolutely. Am I sure? by no means. Am I ready? no way Jose! But I have come to believe that in light of my new adventure, I don't have to be filled with bravery, courage, or even a complete Spanish vocabulary. Instead, I just have to have the willingness to go.

This blog, and yes I am a newbie at this so bear with me, is going to be dedicated to this exciting ride that I'm on. I'll try to write every-so-often and dictate what's going on, how I'm feeling and most importantly how many stupid things I will probably end up doing, cause let's be real, I am no good at speakin da Spanish.

As for now, I'm pumped. At moments I could get on a plane and jet out of here, but others day it seems almost too much to think about. I'll be graduating from college (ACU), packing up my house, be home for just a little while and then BAM, in a new country. While I have always known that this is the life I have wanted, the cost at which it comes is high. But, God is good, my family won't leave, my friends will stay true, and there is no better time than now to follow this call.

So that is that. I guess I'll write again when there is something to report.
wsl,
mal.