the final farewell.

There is never a right time for good-byes. The tearing of relationships broken by the new distance found between them is at times too much to carry, yet that has been my burden for some time now. I have been caught between two worlds, my present and my future, and to be rather honest I have hated every minute of it. At times I wish I could just be there in my new life living this grand adventure I have set out for myself, and than there are others time where all I want to do is stay sipping my coffee and listening to old friends tell even older stories.

I am heartbroken. I have tried to look back on this past year and count all the moments that I wasted doing something pointless when I should have been spending more time with the people I love. Atlas, my time has come. Graduation was the final component for my catalyst and I am now days away from leaving my home, my friends, my family.

I have no doubt that once I get on the plane I will be overjoyed, but I'm not there yet. I'm here, at home, with all my memories surrounding me. I wish I could be braver. I wish I could be stronger. I wish I wasn't so full of fear. But I am.

I have been so overflowed with doubt that I try to avoid certain duties... like buying bug spray and getting my shots... and even packing (my bad). I find myself fading in and out of memories from winning waterball, to passing my belt test, to making costumes, to winning Sing Song, to becoming a rodeo queen and finally becoming a college graduate. These moments I will treasure for they are all I have left of a time that is now over for me.

While my departure brings forth sadness and doubts I hadn't not truly expect, I place my confidence on Christ. I may not know what this summer has in store for me, but I know my God goes before me. Wherever He leads, I must follow.

So farewell my home. I will miss you. Farewell my family... I might call you. Farewell my friends, I will remember you.

wsl,

mal.